Relaxation is a Skill

“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are” - Chinese Proverb

Do you ever think, Why can’t I just relax?

Just so you know, you’re not alone.

Maybe this shows up when you’re trying to go to sleep and your mind won’t stop racing. Maybe you go on vacation and it takes days before you finally start to unwind. Or maybe you know you’re stressed out, but you can’t figure out how to slow down and get the rest you need.

Part of the reason is that our world has changed really fast.

For most of human history, our days naturally followed the rhythm of light and dark. We went to sleep when it was dark and woke up when it was light. Growing up, you may have watched a little TV at night or read a book before bed. And if you’re in my age group, there weren’t even computers yet! 😂

But now we are always on.

It’s hard to put the phone down. There’s always something else to do and we’re constantly taking in information: emails, text messages, social media, news, and even reading for fun is often done on a screen.

All of this incoming information can keep our bodies in a state of alert.

Here’s the good news, relaxation is a learned skill.

In the same way your nervous system has learned to stay “on” all the time, it can also learn how to slow down again with practice.

Every time you give yourself the experience of slowing down, you’re teaching your nervous system what calm feels like. And the more you practice, the easier it becomes.

This is the big thing I want people to understand, many people see relaxation as a nice-to-have. Something luxurious that happens when you have extra time.

But relaxation is not a luxury.

It’s essential if you want your mind and body to heal.

It’s not a reward for getting everything done. It’s a skill worth developing because it helps you sleep better, recover from stress, think more clearly, and support your overall well-being.

And like any skill, it gets easier with practice.

Your body already knows how to relax.

It just needs the opportunity to remember.

May you find a few moments this week to slow down, breathe, and experience the joy of relaxation.❤️
Nicole

Practice at Home:

Here are a few simple things you can try to get a little relaxation relief into your day. 🥰

1. Notice when your body goes on alert.

   For the next week, simply notice when your body feels “on alert”. Maybe your shoulders creep up toward your ears, your jaw tightens, or you find yourself holding your breath.

   Don't try to change anything. Just notice. Awareness is the first step toward change.

2. Practice 1 minute of doing nothing.
   
   Once each day, set a timer for one minute.

   No phone. No music. No multitasking.

   Simply sit, breathe naturally, and notice how your body feels. If one minute feels surprisingly hard, that's okay. It’s just information, not failure.

3. Practice relaxation before you need it.

   We often wait until we're overwhelmed before trying to relax. By practicing relaxation techniques when you are not stressed, they will come to you easier when you need them. Think of it as getting in your reps to build your relaxation toolkit.